Antares announces Direct Mind Access Technology

Antares Audio Technologies has today announced their intent to start thinking about the possible development of their revolutionary new Direct Mind Access (DMA™) musical composition technology. Designed to free would-be composers, songwriters, musicians, and drummers from the tedious study and practice that have traditionally been required for the development of musical skill, DMA technology will allow anyone (see NOTE below) to transfer the music (or voices) they hear in their head directly to any DMA-compliant DAW.

Based on groundbreaking neurocognitive research that Antares’ Dr. Andy is planning to start “any day now,” Direct Mind Access will free users from complicated, annoying user interfaces by allowing them to simply think about the music they’d like to create and have it instantly and seamlessly appear in their DAW. Using DMA’s Cognitive Realtime Audio Processor, not only will DMA eliminate the need for talent, but the need for musicians and vocalists as well. For the first time in the history of audio technology marketing, the claim that “The only limit is your imagination!” will actually be true.

NOTE: DMA will require the cranial implantation of the Cognitive Realtime Audio Processor (CRAP) along with a micro-Bluetooth communication unit. It is expected that implantation will be available as an outpatient procedure at most metropolitan neurosurgical facilities. Users should be in relatively good health and of at least average intelligence. It should be noted that when paired to a DMA-compliant DAW, Direct Mind Access will manifest any of the user’s thoughts, whether music-oriented or not. Consequently, the ability to concentrate solely on the desired music is critically important. (DMA and porn do not mix!)

Editorial Note: We at Gearjunkies have our “thoughts” about this concept! We cannot completely agree on the feasibility of this technology. ….. Uhm, wait! …………. What day is today again?

 

 


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